Share and Punches

Honestly, I never, ever posted personal thoughts online. I don't think I should. Yet I'm doing it. I guess it just seems so easy, and so relieving to share thoughts, troubling emotions with, well, literally the world. And these few days I had alot of "thoughts", those of which I didn't know how to express, how to share, and most importantly, who to share them with. The hardest things about opening up is always finding the right person to open up to. For each aspect of life, I have someone. Emotional pain, I have someone. Sex and Love issues, I have someone else. Fears and negative thoughts, then again, someone's got my back. Even just to be myself, and be really really stupid, even for that, I have a few individuals in mind. The real problem to that is that sometimes we forget that "Oh darn, I can't be silly with the person I share my emotional pain" and it ends up ruining a perfectly fine relationship. The best would be to have that one person to tell everything to. But that person is hard to find. It's like chasing Waldo. And once you find that person, they eventually disappear. And you can tell yourself it's not your fault as much as you want, in a way, it is. Because without wanting to, you used this person. You used them as an emotional punching bag. Everything you always had on your heart, you threw it at them, waiting for them to make you feel better. But with time, the punching bag starts to be less... full... It starts to get softer, sloppier when you use it. And eventually, it breaks. You didn't see it coming, so you didn't take care of it, and all of a sudden, it's not there anymore. Then, goodluck finding a new one.. You just have to go back to have multiples bags to drop emotions on.